52 – Reflection

This is just perfect

The way that everything

Circles back around

51

I found respect in confidence
And the firmness of my actions
Conviction that has led me to a subtle way out
Through marriage of these concepts I have come to a conclusion
Where it is I, alone, who faces these tests of will
And I see through the exterior of what I envied and held so high
To bring to terms with an acceptable means of dealing
I told you I was strong enough to do this
Accepting what is now for what it is and prying open the barriers
Between our subtle nuances that piece us together
This is a new beginning
A birth to bearing these middle names that explain so vividly my encounters
And my vital growth that has led me to become a piece of this beautiful experiment

50

I’ll do this on my own.

49

All these great actions,
The things that are interesting to watch in life,
And these things that we grow from,
Stem from love and passion.
This is important to remember.

48

Was it the calm before the storm or the sea that crashed upon us?
These kinds of decisions are always killing me
It’s still resting between us, on this shelf
I’ve decided to let it be
It’s so startling to know the bitter reality of this moment
But refreshing, in a strange kind of way
Defenseless is a morbid setting to be engaged with while waging wars
And I see now that my growth has come from the inside where my veins converge
Into a mass of fantastic ideals and feelings so heavy that they bring down the sky
We explored the forest of this expansive magnitude and found ourselves naked under veils of red
Well I can attest that I’ve grown stronger and more intuitive
Becoming a bearer of gifts to give

47

Maybe knowing isn’t the point
This question is buried deep within our throats
Unanswered.
We breathe this air so deeply and fill our lungs with solitude
Was it all lost inside or somewhere in between?
Never knowing, never comprehending, or digesting
This situation we have been faced with is not a happy ending
The ends are undone, untied
I’m walking out before this gets out of hand

46

Now it’s spinning all around me
It’s taking and taking, giving, but taking everything away
I still smell you and it kills me so much
I still see you laying there and it kills me so much
I’ve watched these ties become tight, there’s no slack left
We’re in danger of seeing it all collapse
And I can’t even make a move…
Everything we built is laying at my feet
Begging me to bring myself back to the surface
Struggling for air and now on the horizon, your face
Returning with memories without me
This doesn’t involve me anymore
I’ve been pushed aside
In this picture we paint, I am only the concept of a memory, vague and undefined

45

This life is too short
Despite that I loved her so
She never came back

44

You will meet your end
It’s just a matter of time
You will rot in hell

43

When you left and said goodbye you took everything with you
I tried to reconnect my insides but all the pieces were missing
I ache from the inside out
And this feeling draws me in, it’s inescapable
Hell has arrived and upon my doorstep is a song of the end
Why couldn’t I have had a chance to fix things?
I had no way to see this coming
And now I’m so empty
And now I’m so lost
Please just tear out my eyes and remove my ears
I don’t want to know any more
I don’t want to keep seeing you in my dreams